


"Articles of War"

by splash_the_cat



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-08
Updated: 2007-09-08
Packaged: 2017-10-11 20:50:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/116963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/splash_the_cat/pseuds/splash_the_cat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some battles are better lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Articles of War"

**Author's Note:**

> Season 8. Spoilers: Affinity. Way back before the five things meme exploded I was working on a thematic Jack/Teal'c five things set. Sadly, thematically it never gelled and I fought with it for two years before throwing up my hands and deciding to cannibalize a part of it for the choc_fic challenge fic I have due next week. And it seems a waste to let the rest of it languish, so here's another part.

Fuck hospitality. This was an act of _war_.

The neatly-rolled empty tube of Jack's expensive mail-order toothpaste (it tasted like minty bananas) sat in the trash, nestled in a pile of cotton pads reeking of the face cleaner Teal'c used like six times a day. Right before he used some fancy-pants moisturizer with pH balancing and SPF protection and then fucking _stole Jack's toothpaste_.

Plucking the tube from its resting place, Jack shook it free of a few clinging bits of cotton fuzz. He set it on the counter - evidence for the upcoming trial in which he planned to play judge, jury and executioner - and after digging out an ancient tube of Crest from under then vanity, reached for his toothbrush.

His wet toothbrush.

"AGH!"

This was all Daniel's fault; Daniel and his little "Oh, Jack, you should let Teal'c stay with you" guilt trips. Yeah, so Jack had pushed the Teal'c getting an apartment thing, and yeah, that had turned into a disaster of epic proportions, but still. There were limits to his remorse.

Charging down the stairs with evidence in hand, Jack found Teal'c reclined on the couch, engrossed in "The Price Is Right." "Do you notice something wrong with those?" Jack dumped toothbrush and empty toothpaste tube into Teal'c's lap as Bob Barker was almost knocked to the floor by an exuberant fan.

T. didn't even take his eyes off the television, the guilty bastard. "You have issues with my personal hygiene routine, O'Neill?"

"I have issues with you using my stuff!"

Now Teal'c turned to Jack, eyebrow on overdrive. "You did insist I make myself at home."

"Is there some weird Jaffa custom about shared dental hygiene being an indicator of making yourself at home? I only share that stuff with people whom I've shared some level of... of... mouth intimacy!"

"If that is indeed the case..." Teal'c unfolded from the couch, toothbrush and toothpaste bouncing to the floor. The announcer invited Doug Hessler to come on down as Teal'c planted one broad hand against Jack's chest, shoving just hard enough that Jack stumbled back against the wall. And Teal'c was right there with him, crowding close, forcing Jack to look up to keep eye contact.

"T, what the h-" The rest of his question was swallowed by Teal'c's mouth.

Warm, surprisingly soft lips commanded his own to open. He complied, but only to protest. Which he belatedly realized was a pretty fucking ineffective strategy because there was suddenly tongue, oh, fuck _tongue_. Warm and wet and, shit, damn good at what it was doing.

Teal'c stupid seventies disco shirt thwarted Jack's attempt to get a grip on Teal'c's arms, and his fingers skated over slick silk and taut muscle. Oh yes, and he was definitely ignoring the hard length pressed against his hip, and the effect it had on his own dick. He shuddered through a deep breath as Teal'c broke away, acknowledging Jack with a slight incline of his head and the hint of a smug smile quirking his mouth. "Now the issue should be moot, O'Neill." And he was gone into the kitchen, the applause from some lucky contestant's pricing victory pattering in his wake.

Jack sagged against the wall and licked the taste of his toothpaste from the corner of his mouth.


End file.
